5 Ways To Actually Support A Friend Going Through A Divorce, From A Therapist

To find out how to best be there for someone going through a divorce, we asked therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, for his best tips. Here's what he had to say:

Handling this kind of loss has many layers, including pain, but also learning and growth, he says. "Be the friend who normalizes all of their ups and downs, helping them to see that the psyche in the heart and the body metabolize this kind of pain in ways that transcends our understanding."

"Ask them what they need and try to give it to them," he says. "Invite them to social gatherings whether they come or not—this is especially true during the holidays."

Along with general compliments and admiration, Page says you can also remind them of all of the good qualities they exhibited in the relationship, like how hard they tried and all the effort they made. Remind them that all the love they gave in the relationship they can now give to themselves.

"Sometimes we know that the relationship ended in some significant part because of our friend," Page explains. Perhaps they cheated, pushed their spouse away, or weren't addressing their own problems. Whatever the case, "Hold that in your heart and don't go there until they're ready and until they ask you," Page says, adding, "You can ask a gentle question or two, but then let it be. They will pursue it if they are ready."

And of course, you'll still want to remember to honor their needs if they want space, privacy, or rest, so keep that in mind as you offer them support and encouragement.

No one likes to see their friends going through a hard time, and it can be tricky to navigate supporting them while not pushing too hard. While healing from a divorce takes time, holding space and honoring your friend's journey while offering resources and encouragement can help make the process that much easier for them.