Confidence Training: Everything You Need To Be Super Self-Assured

So what is the secret to a secure sense of self—a self not diminished in the face of challenge or criticism? How can we achieve an inner resilience that allows us to move forward toward our dreams and encourages others to do the same? After exploring this topic through thousands of client sessions and my own personal growth, I have found that these five steps ultimately lead to genuine, stable self-confidence.

Sounds so simple right? Just do what you say you will do. The word confidence comes from the Latin word confidere, meaning "to have full trust or resilience." When we keep even our smallest of agreements, we build a solid core of character. Every time we tell ourselves or someone else we will do something and we do not do it, we chip away at our self-trust. Every time we keep our word even with something as small as "I will floss daily" or "I will get up every morning at 6:30 a.m. to meditate," we actually craft a foundation of inner sturdiness.

Slouching not only causes health problems like neck and back pain, it also decreases your self-assurance. Great posture, on the other hand, conveys a positive attitude and signals to others that you are someone who deserves respect. Research shows that keeping your spine erect and your head up high actually sends a signal to your brain saying you are convinced of what you say and believe. The "Wonder Woman pose" ( or "Superman pose") has been shown to convey immediate physiological benefit to both the stance taker and the effectiveness of their message.

I have never met a confident person who complains all the time. When we focus on what is working instead of dwelling on what's not, we become more assertive and action-oriented. If we surround ourselves with people who are "Can do!" instead of "Cannot!" we are frequently bolstered to reach higher instead of lower. Additionally, when we meet adversity or different points of view with "Yes and..." instead of "Yes but...," we also develop inner conviction muscles that are not thwarted by needing to be right. We learn to celebrate challenge and diversity because it makes us stronger listeners and creative thinkers. We do not shrink from disagreement or cynicism; we actually become more open and committed to finding a way to gain allies for our goals and understand the needs of our detractors.

Think about it: People who exude abundance do not spend time putting down others. They are the ones discussing great ideas and creative projects instead. They are people who support and encourage the best in everyone around them. If they do have grievances with others, they are direct and sincere about them and look to repair ruptures instead of collecting evidence or followers to bolster their opinions.

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