Ambivalence In Relationships Is To Be Expected — But Here's When It's A Red Flag

The researchers studied over 1,000 couples and individuals over the course of a year using questionnaires, daily diaries, and follow-ups, to assess things like ambivalence, relationship satisfaction, and relationship outcomes.

"Indeed," the study authors write, "the present findings suggest that it is primarily the awareness of conflicting feelings (i.e., subjective ambivalence) that is especially associated with people reporting negative outcomes, at least for relational well-being." They add that in romantic relationships, "people may be most threatened by the awareness of their ambivalence given the strong desire to see their partner positively and the potentially relationship- and life-altering implications that acting upon one's evaluations may have" (i.e., breaking up).

If you've been feeling ambivalent in your relationship, this study also points out that ruminating on feelings of ambivalence can make outcomes worse, so if you can make an effort to stop ruminating, that would be a good place to start.

Rather than ruminating, try having an open and honest conversation with your partner about the way you've been feeling. Ambivalence is a tough line to walk, and some levels of it are to be expected, but talking about it with your partner can help prevent any miscommunication, unvoiced expectations, or assumptions.

If you're experiencing ambivalence that's taking a toll on your well-being, it may also be worth considering whether it's time for the relationship to end.

Again, it can be tough to know how much ambivalence is normal, especially if you still love your partner, but if your relationship is making your life worse rather than making it better, you might be better off going your separate ways.

Healthy relationships are not only a source of love and joy in our lives, but they're actually tied to better health outcomes and longevity2.