3 Ways This Former NBA Player Finds Purpose (Even When Life Feels Scary)

Ask Jay Williams 17 years ago if he'd be playing basketball the majority of his life, and the answer might have been a resounding absolutely. But after sustaining serious injuries from a motorcycling accident, Williams' life was put on hold: He'd severed his pubic symphysis, dislocated his knee, and tore his peroneal nerve—he didn't know if he would even walk again, let alone secure his spot back on the Chicago Bulls.

While he experienced his fair share of ups and downs during his recovery process, he touts one thing as paramount for his survival: a sense of purpose. 

"I'm a firm believer that regardless of how difficult times are, there is a purpose," the current author and ESPN analyst tells me on this episode of the mindbodygreen podcast. "If I didn't find purpose in those difficult times, I would've been doing a disservice to myself." A sense of purpose, it turns out, quite literally gave him something to live for. 

To find your purpose (your "why," if you will), Williams recommends removing yourself from the situation. Although we can't quite do it physically at the moment, you can shift your energy toward others rather than focusing on yourself—be it the ones you're isolating with or simply sending virtual support to your loved ones. 

It's true: We're all experiencing some sort of loss right now. Whether it's losing a loved one, a job, or the ache of a past life, grief can take many forms during the novel coronavirus. And that's OK! However, according to Williams, it's important to reflect on what you do have: "Moments of grief and anger had taken me away from the things that were present and right in front of my face," he explains. "I was so focused on what I had lost, I wasn't paying attention to what I had gained."

"You can allow a moment to define you, or you can allow a moment to help you grow," Williams states. Meaning, we might not be able to control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we react. That being said, approach a situation with a "What can I learn from this?" mentality—reflecting on the ways you can grow will ultimately help you find the purpose you need to keep going. 

And to help the process work twofold, be sure to surround yourself with people who also share that growth mindset. "The more I focus on the ways I can grow and surround myself with people who challenge me to grow...helps me become a better father, husband, and be more self-reflective," Williams says.