I Didn't Feel A Connection With My Baby At Birth. Here's What I Wish Other Moms Knew

I got into this health and wellness journey because I was overwhelmed, overtired, stressed out, and felt lost. I also felt lonely and alone in this motherhood thing. How could I tell my then-boyfriend that this family life stressed me out more than brought me joy? I was ready to ask for help so I did but was told that there was a waitlist and that I better shake it off. I was lost, on a verge of a breakdown...and then told to get on a list or go home. It made no sense! I am going crazy NOW, not in two years!

So, I decided it was up to me. Up to me to find a way to "fix" me and feel joy again. I "fixed" me when I had an eating disorder, so I could do it again!

I turned to health, fitness, and spirituality. That is what I knew. It helped to find a few kindred spirits on social media who vouched that health, fitness, and meditation saved them from themselves. It was worth a try...and now, four years later, while having a conversation about nothing in particular, my fiancé said to me, "You have done a lot of work on yourself these past years and it shows!"

If you ask my kids, they will say that they barely noticed that I was taking care of me before taking care of them...except the veggies, my son will say!

Health and wellness truly helped me get my life and happiness back! I was able to look inside for answers (some were hidden into a big pile of old stuff...) instead of outward for medication and numbness. Did it take time? Yes. Did it take work? Yes. But ultimately, prioritizing my well-being put me in a better place to be the mom that, deep down, I always knew I could be.