What Is Tantric Sex? How To Practice Tantra's Intimate Form Of Sex

Tantric sex is a whole new way of being in sexual connection that allows you access to deeper levels of feeling, sensation, and energy, and ultimately more of who you really are.

This path is simple but profound: It's about wholeheartedly celebrating the sacredness of our bodies and desires while bringing a quality of mindful awareness to the shared expression of pleasure.

It can help you release shame, trauma, and blocks around sex, unleashing the transformative power of your erotic energy and leading you to some of the most soul-shattering orgasms ever.

Tantric sex is a sexual practice that's part of the ancient spiritual path known as tantra. Tantra (pronounced tahn-tra, with an ahh sound in that first syllable) is a Sanskrit term that translates to "weave."

It refers to weaving together or uniting the masculine and feminine forces within all of us, heaven and earth, the human body with the transcendent, collapsing the polarities.

The purpose of tantra is to discover an ecstatic union with all of life beyond the separate sense of self. Sacred or tantric sex—an aspect of tantra—is seen as one doorway to that transcendent truth, once we learn how to harness it.

The simplest explanation of tantric intimacy is that it's about bringing the fire of your sexual energy, passion, and desires into alignment with your heart, your spirit, and a sense of goodness in your life.

When these forces come into balance and harmony, the sparks of interpersonal magic really start flying, and sex becomes something healing, empowering, transcendent, and profoundly beautiful.

I'm talking about the kind of lovemaking that feels truly connected, aligned, massively powerful, and filled with the utmost respect and devotion between you and your partner.

This kind of intimacy evokes your highest self and leaves you overflowing with love. Time slows down, your intuition expands, and you can find yourself in nearly psychedelic realms of orgasmic possibility that you might have only heard about or imagined.

Tantric sex involves a wide array of erotic activities, not all of which involve the same kind of penetration and physical stimulation of erogenous zones that most people associate with sex.

A typical tantra session involves the subtle realms of sex, including slow embraces, gentle caresses, getting present within the body, and focusing on the movement of energy between the partners' bodies.

Sometimes during tantric sex, you're barely moving, and the focus is on the meditative, devotional dimension.

If you relax and take things slowly, or ramp up and slow down the action, you can make love for hours, and the enjoyment can just keep building.

People with penises might also explore practices like edging (getting close to orgasm and backing off), which builds their ability to last longer and hold more pleasure before flipping over into orgasm.

That said, all sexual energy can be tantric when done with awareness.

Tantric sex can dive into the raw, intense, and animalistic spaces, where the body's instinctual intelligence takes over and you are blind to pleasure. Dominance and submission can be tantric as well.

Tantra stems back to at least the seventh century if not earlier, appearing in various forms and texts in Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain traditions.

But usually when Westerners use the word "tantra," we are really talking about the field of "neotantra."

There are various complex and rigorous spiritual paths of "classical tantra," which aim at full spiritual awakening or enlightenment as the goal. These include Kashmir Shaivism, a strand of religious philosophies from Kashmir and India, and the Vajrayana Buddhist path of India and Tibet.

These paths often involve serious study and personal dedication, meditative practices, and can include various elements of ritual, such as the use of mantras, visualizations, and deity worship. Working with sexual energy was only a small part of the practice and was for advanced students only.

By contrast, neotantra has developed over the last 150 years and aims specifically at more fulfilling intimacy and connection, a deeper connection to one's own body and emotions, healing trauma and blocks, and opening to greater states of orgasmic ecstasy.

This body of teachings has been deeply inspired by some of the core tenets of classical tantra, but it is important to acknowledge that much of what is taught and shared among modern tantric sex practitioners are not "ancient practices" in the literal sense, though meaningful and relevant in their own ways.

Consciously disconnect from the mundane world and enter the world of the Divine—the world of pleasure. Turn off devices, light candles or incense, and gather any special treats like chocolates or berries.

Purify yourself by showering and dressing in something lovely; purify your space by tidying up and putting away the laundry piles. It's also best to skip or go light on the substances in order to be fully present.

In the powerful gaze of your partner, there is nowhere to hide, and you practice fully revealing yourself to the other with all that you feel and all that you are. You see them fully while at the same time letting yourself be seen.

Sit up straight on a pillow or chair facing your partner. You can look left eye to left eye or just gaze softly at both eyes, and you can also hold hands if you like. Let the love that is in your heart shine out through your eyes.

Gazing at your beloved, see the divine spark in their eyes, marveling at the pure life force that is animating them. Feel the sacredness of this simple moment together.

This one can often flow nicely after eye gazing. While sitting facing each other with a soft gaze, bring your hands to your own heart and breathe up into your heart.

As you feel the love that is welling up in your heart for your partner, reach across and place your right hand on your partner's heart (with consent), and they can place their right hand on your heart.

Each person's left hand then covers the hand on their own heart. Synchronize your breathing, with slow, deep, nourishing breaths.

Tantric massages are another powerful part of tantric sex, one that can be the key to multiple orgasms for both people with clitorises and people with penises.

In a tantric massage, one partner gets to just lie back and receive, getting the chance to tune into their pleasure and sexual energy and see how it wants to open up through their body, while the other partner moves their hands slowly and meditatively along their body to let them feel every single new sensation.

There can be a whole array of goals and expectations around sex that put pressure on us to be a certain way, as well as routines and habits that keep us stuck in a sexual rut.

Tantra is about throwing all of that out the window and starting fresh with a beginner's mind, redefining sex by making it more about intimacy, connection, and playful possibility rather than a race to the orgasm or a box to be checked.

When you let go of goals like "getting someone off" or achieving anything in particular, there is literally endless room for discovery and such a wide range of what is possible.

And whatever you're experiencing now in terms of orgasm, you can safely assume there is way more to experience through tantric sex—more powerful orgasms, longer-lasting orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms and multiple orgasms for men, numerous kinds of orgasms for women, deep states of surrender, visionary states, and states of oneness with your partner and life itself.

Sacred sexuality can also be an integral part of the path of awakening and personal evolution.

Various spiritual teachers have admitted that orgasm is an experience that gives us a glimpse of divinity because there's a melting of the regular egoic self in those moments of communion.

There are many myths about tantra that can make people feel like it's not for them. But I feel inspired to teach tantra because I believe most people have a ton of their power and truth locked up in their sexuality, right alongside all the messed-up cultural conditioning and trauma most of us carry.