A Guide To Tantric Masturbation: Techniques, Benefits & More

Marathon orgies. Multiple orgasms. Eye-locked lovemaking. Likely, the term "tantric sex" brings to mind at least two people going at it. But while tantric sex can be with another person or persons, tantric sex can also be a solo venture. Introducing: tantric masturbation. Here's how to start touching yourself tantrically—plus, the health benefits of a tantric solo sex practice.

Tantric masturbation involves making love to yourself through touch, breathwork, and meditation. The antithesis of rubbing one out or "maintenance" masturbating, tantric solo sex is more spiritual, explorative, and mindful than the average wank. Far from being tantra light, tantra educator Leah Piper says, "Solo tantra is the first step in having a partnered, tantric experience." Tantric masturbation is the best place for everyone—partnered, multi-partnered, or single—to start their tantric sex journey.

There are no goals in tantra—only intentions. "Tantra never has orgasm as the goal, only the intention of raising and exploring sexual energy," says Carrellas. 

This can and should be tailored to your personal needs and wants in the moment. Are you experiencing sexual shame? Your intention for the practice might be to become more comfortable with your sensual self. Are you feeling meh about your belly or thighs? Your intention might be to show those areas love. Are you feeling stressed? Your intention might be to release stress and invite relief. 

"You want to ritualize the experience of making love to yourself," says Piper. Light a candle, draw the curtains, set the room to a comfortable temp, and fill the room with a scent that smells relaxing or sensual to your nose, she suggests. (Here's our full guide to creating a romantic bedroom environment for tantric sex.)

Then, create a sex nest. "Sexual energy only moves when you're comfortable," says Carrellas. So arrange a sea of pillows and throw blankets, either on your bed or not, so that you are at peak comfort during your session. 

According to Carrellas, masturbating tantrically counts as medabation (no, not a typo!). Medabation is the love child of masturbating and meditating. Knowing that, you shouldn't be surprised to learn that the first step in actually getting into it is to breathe. "Breathing can take us to another world; it can move energy throughout our body," she says. 

Not just any ol' breathing will have this power. "It should be a kind of conscious breathing that's more full and deep than usual," she says. 

Box breathing: If having a more specific breathing pattern is helpful for you, Candice Smith, M.Ed., chief intimacy officer with Tango, recommends starting with box breathing, which entails following a pattern of fours. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. "Continue this for at least four rounds, as long as you feel like counting," she says. "It will help quiet your mind, make you more present, and keep your mind from wandering to other things." 

Erogenous zones are the nerve-dense spots on your body that love to be stroked, licked, nipped, and kissed. While your genitals certainly qualify, during your tantra practice, you're not going to start with your slit, sausage, nips, and nubs. You're going to start with your secondary erogenous zones. 

Piper explains: "Beyond the yoni (vagina) and the lingam (penis), we have other places on our body that can help us experience ecstasy," she says. "In tantra, these are called our secondary erogenous zones, and they're the places on our body that fold like our elbows, hands, wrists, knees, inner groin, and ankles."

You don't want to rush right to your goodies, but you can eventually move south if you want to. Just be sure to start slower than slow. Your touch should not be vigorous, hard, rushed, or intense. You're not "rubbing one out." This is not maintenance masturbation. 

"Stoke yourself slowly and softly. Touch yourself as if you're in no rush at all," says Piper. "Experiment with new types of strokes and ways of touching," she says. 

Making sounds can help move energy in your body, according to Carrellas. "Different tenors of sound activate different chakras in the body." Your chakras are a set of seven energy centers in the body, located from the top of your head down your spine, with the lowest being by your genitals. "You make lower sounds to activate your lower chakras, middle pitches for middle-body chakras, and higher pitchers for high-up chakra," she explains. 

Yep, sex toys are allowed! So long as they enhance the experience, not detract from it. "Penetrative toys, glass toys and dildos, steel wands, sensation toys, and vibrators are all welcome," says Carrellas. (Just remember that if you use silicone-based toys and are also using lube, choose a water- or oil-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube can fudge with the texture of silicone toys, making them tacky.)

Instead of going right for your clit or penis with the pleasure aid, Carrellas says to "start by running the toy up and down your abdomen while you breathe, use the toy to bring you closer to your body and intention." (Not specifically to bring you closer to orgasm.)

Piper recommends vulva owners use G-spot wands. "There is a chakra located inside the G-spot, so massage that spot and you have the ability to touch inside that chakra. It's pretty amazing." 

Orgasm may not be the goal, but the above tips will get you there. "If you feel orgasm come, keep breathing," instructs Carrellas. "We tend to hold our breath or breathe shallowly when an orgasm is coming, but keep breathing." 

Once you become a more advanced tantric masturbator, Carrellas and Smith say you might consider adding a mirror. "A mirror adds an extra visual element to the self-love practice," says Smith. If you have a full-body mirror, gaze in the mirror; run your hands up and down your body from your extremities to your center, she says. Vulva owners can also use a handheld mirror to examine their vulvas closely: " how your vulva changes physically as you start to become aroused," she says. 

Again, orgasms are not a goal. But a happy side effect? Heck yes.

"Learning the pleasure potential of your nongenital zones is one of the ways people can become multi-orgasmic and have full-body orgasms," says Piper. 

"You can't think your way into self-love. You have to spiritually, emotionally, and mentally do work to love yourself," says Piper. "And solo tantra is one of the active ways someone can learn to love their body and selves."

Next time you're clutching your abdomen when that time of the month rolls around, consider moving your hands a little lower for some sweet, sweet tantric loving. Due to the surge of natural pain relievers (aka dopamine and serotonin)3 we get from an orgasm, masturbating may help ease those cramps.

Using tantric principles in your solo sex sessions might sound intimidating, but as Carrellas says, "Just try it. The benefits, the pleasure, the body-awareness of touching yourself tantrically are all worth overcoming that hurdle of your first time."