Is Only-Child Syndrome Really A Thing? Experts Weigh In

There are a lot of stereotypes that come with being an only child. It would be easy to assume that children who grow up without siblings might be more self-centered—but is that really the case? To find out, we asked experts about what to expect from only children, plus what these people can do to overcome any challenges that may arise from growing up solo.

The Adlerian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics was first developed in the 1960s by psychotherapist Alfred Adler, M.D., to outline the characteristics of twins, only children, and oldest, middle, and youngest children. Only children tend to fall more into the "firstborn" camp of Adler's theory:

While interesting to consider, the Adlerian Overview should be taken with a grain of salt, as it hasn't been fully backed by modern research. Licensed psychologist Nicole Beurkens, Ph.D., CNS, tells mbg that only children don't necessarily have to have different traits than any other child.

While everyone's different, these are some traits commonly associated with only children:

As they get older, Sherman notes, this independence can also translate into a need for more space than others have.

Beurkens and Sherman both note that only children can be high achievers who put a lot of weight on their accomplishments and victories. Since parents are able to invest their attention in solely them, rather than multiple siblings, only children (like oldest children) can have more expectations placed on them and feel a greater need to succeed.

Similar to being achievement-oriented, Sherman notes only children are often ambitious, and Beurkens notes the research backs this up. Parents often tell their children they can do anything and make any dream come true. Only children can really take that message to heart.

However, as Beurkens adds, while they may "struggle with some adjustment issues when they get old enough to enter school and engage with peers, that mostly depends on the opportunities they've had as younger children to be around other kids." She adds that research hasn't shown the self-absorbed only-child stereotype to be true.

And lastly, Beurkens and Sherman note that being an only child can make one particularly close to one's parents. "They tend to have closer relationships with their parents during childhood and in adulthood," Beurkens explains.

"They may have some difficulties initially when engaging in school, sports, social activities [...] but this isn't an across-the-board problem, and over time these kids catch up with their skills and comfort level in this arena," Beurkens adds.

It ultimately comes down to the individual, how much they've matured, and the nuances of their childhood. "A lot of their behavior as adults depends on the type of relationship they had with their parents3 as a child, which is true for any person, whether or not they're an only child," Beurkens explains, adding, "the concept of 'only-child syndrome' has largely been debunked in the research.

And if you're dating an only child, Sherman says it's important to realize they may need their space and independence due to their family dynamic. "They may need to learn to compromise and to share. They also may crave attention and may not understand when you are giving other relationships attention instead of them," she says.

Just because someone is an only child doesn't mean their personality is set in stone. Every family is different, even if there is only one child in the picture. At the end of the day, how someone grows into themselves will be unique to them. With that being said, if you believe being an only child negatively affected you in some way, it's never too late to brush off old habits.