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How To Know If Someone Likes You (And What To Do About It)
We all want to be liked. It's human nature! We usually want our friends, family, colleagues, and baristas to think we're great. But there's something about having a crush that supersizes our need for validation, causing us to analyze every smile, text message, and arm graze for hints of attraction.
So, how can we know if someone likes us? Read on to learn some common behaviors that people display when they like and trust another person (whether they're attracted to them or not).
First, a note on likability
Not to be Captain Obvious or anything, but if you want somebody to like you, try being likable.
There are certain behaviors and qualities that are pretty universally likable. For example, people tend to like people who are open-minded, emotionally intelligent, warm, and have the ability to laugh at themselves.
People also tend to be perceived as likable when they're acting balanced: not too confident so as to seem arrogant, but not too passive that they seem insecure. It's important to find the sweet spot in conversation, as well. You want to be engaging enough to continue an interesting conversation (the key is to ask a lot of good questions) but not so talkative that it makes you look like you're prying or bragging.
Signs that someone likes you
1. They want to talk to you
Perhaps this sign is best explained in reverse: If someone doesn't like you, they probably don't want to talk to you that much.
However, if someone initiates conversation with you, it could be a sign that they like you1.
If they always want to keep the conversation going on social media, from liking and commenting on your posts to sending you funny memes, it could also indicate that they're into you, as sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, M.S., previously told mindbodygreen.
2. They mirror your movements
A pretty universal sign that someone likes and trusts you is that they mimic your movements, according to research1.
Researchers at the University of Alberta found that people tend to copy the movements1 of people they like. Notice if the person you're speaking to mirrors your body language, from your gestures to the way you tilt your head. Mirroring can also look like someone adopting your mannerisms or turns of phrase.
3. They get real close
If someone is cozying up to you literally, they may also be cozying up to you metaphorically.
People tend to lean in to people they feel attracted to during conversation. People also tend to angle their bodies toward people they like, displaying open body language.
4. They smile a lot when they're around you
Think about how much your friends make you smile when you're together—it's probably because you like them. We tend to smile a lot around people we like simply because we're having a good time. It's one of the top signs that someone likes you.
5. Don't forget the importance of body language
Aside from leaning toward someone while they speak, there are other body language cues that could indicate someone likes you.
Making a lot of eye contact, nodding, continuing to look at you when you look away, stroking their hair, and licking their lips could all point to possible attraction.
6. They laugh at your jokes
Maybe you're hilarious, and even your enemies can't help but laugh at your jokes. But a telltale sign that someone likes you is when they laugh at your jokes (especially if they aren't that funny).
7. They're blushing
People blush when they feel a wave of adrenaline and excitement—and it can be a sign of sexual attraction. Just don't forget that people blush for a lot of reasons, including social anxiety, anger, or embarrassment.
How to make someone fall in love with you
People are more likely to fall in love when they feel attraction (a liking), lust (a strong sexual desire), and attachment (an emotional bond) for another person, as clinical psychologist Bobbi Wegner, Psy.D., previously told mindbodygreen.
There is no love potion to make someone fall in love with you (thankfully, because that doesn't sound ethical), but there are some things you can try to make yourself more likable to your crush:
- Try doing small kind gestures for them.
- Spend more time with them.
- Find something that interests both of you, and do it together.
- Ask each other the famous 36 questions to fall in love.
- Don't rush, and be patient.
- Be vulnerable.
- Open up about your feelings for them.
What to do next
So, you think someone likes you. What next? Well, that depends on the kind of relationship you want to have with this person.
If you want to strengthen your friendship, then work on building intimacy in platonic ways.
But if you're interested in a relationship with them, then feel out the possibility of romance. You could continue casually flirting or share your feelings with them. Just make sure you don't lose yourself in the process of trying to win them over. It's important to stay true to yourself and not let a part of you die while chasing validation from another person.
"At the end of the day, there are so many unknown, visceral, and opaque aspects of falling in love with someone that cannot be faked. If you find yourself 'trying' to get someone to fall in love with you, ask yourself why," Wegner previously told mindbodygreen. "If love is not genuine, it will not last."
And if you realize, at the end of the day, that the person you like doesn't like you back—it's OK. The feelings of infatuation that usually come with having a crush are very powerful but possible to get past with time. It's probably a good idea to distance yourself from them (physically, emotionally, and on social media), distract yourself with hobbies and meeting new people, and try to stop fantasizing about them.
The takeaway
If you want to know whether someone likes you, there are some telltale signs for which you can be on the lookout. And if you're still unsure whether someone likes you, try taking this 15-question quiz to learn more.
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