The #1 Thing You Can Do For People You Love (It's Not What You Think)

Your single most important job in life is taking care of yourself — period.

Your intuition, body, and physiology are all wired to keep you alive and well. But most of my clients truly believe that loving someone means consistently putting that person's needs above their own. They think being a good mom, partner, sister, or friend means putting someone else first.

In the process of putting others before themselves, my clients end up wrecked with anxiety, stress, and worry. It's hard for them to enjoy the good things, and everything in their world feels like a chore. Over time, their never-ending schedules show up on their bodies as illness or disease.

When you push past your limits, you deplete your body's stores of energy, hormones, and serotonin. Blame your physiology’s fight-or-flight response — in order to compensate for pushing ourselves too far, the brain sends out an SOS signal and starts pulling in cortisol from your adrenals. If you keep going, adrenal fatigue will set in. Without your natural supply of serotonin and other mood regulators, you will lose the ability to actually enjoy the things you're doing.

When you show up in life overworked, stressed, and anxious, it transfers to the people you love. Friends and family who are sensitive or impressionable can actually inherit your problems through observation. They feel what you feel through empathy.

Many people mistakenly believe that those who put themselves first are selfish. That simply isn’t true. In order to really, truly put yourself first, you have to understand who you are and what you need to be happy and healthy. That kind of deep understanding and self-awareness won’t bring out superficial desires. The things you really need to be your best self are the ones that benefit everybody.

Resting is not an option — it is a requirement for good health. To keep you from falling down that slippery slope of overworked exhaustion, schedule time to rest and relax. Resting will mean different things to different people, but overall it should allow your body proper recuperation time from your busy schedule.

It all comes down to being present in your life and understanding how your mind and body react positively and negatively to different events, people, and places.

When you are anxious, stressed, or unhappy, you bring that energy into everything you do. Ask yourself — when am I comfortable, happy, and healthy, and what do I need in order to show up like that in the world? Being a happy, healthy you is hands down the best gift you can give to your loved ones.