How To React From A Place Of Love When Someone Pisses You Off

Put this eight-step plan into action the next time your significant other says something demeaning, your mother criticizes you, or your boss gets angry at you:

Learn to recognize when you’re triggered. What happens in your body? Does your pulse race and start pounding your heartbeat in your ears? Does your solar plexus contract? Does your heart close? Don’t make your trigger wrong or beat yourself up. Just silently and gently label it “trigger,” then move to the next step.

Use your trigger as a cue to pause, get silent, and surrender the trigger to the Divine. With experience, you will learn to find the silent pause without leaving the presence of the other person, but when you first start practicing this, or if the trigger is very magnified, you may need to excuse yourself from the other person’s presence so you don’t lose your cool. Go to the restroom so you can be alone if you are in a social setting or at work. If you can, step outside and find a quiet spot in nature.

Perhaps something arose that triggered old memories and old patterns that are now playing out again. This doesn’t mean you don’t have a genuine beef with the person who triggered you, but very often, you can see that your emotions have escalated because you’re hooked into old feelings and patterns that may or may not have anything to do with the person who triggered them.

While your mind might still be playing its story, actively remind your heart that you actually care for and love the person who is triggering you. Remember that we’re all connected on some cosmic level. While feeling love, you can now notice any tendency you have to blame, judge, or criticize. Notice any righteousness that casts you as “right” and the other as “wrong.” Listen to the person who triggered you from this honest, openhearted, vulnerable space.

When you’re feeling, expressing, and clearing the raw emotion of the trigger, a vacuum is created within that draws in pure unconditional love and acceptance. Allow this vacuum to be filled by whatever force of love resonates with you—the Divine Mother, God, Goddess, an angel, an animal, your highest self. See this loving presence wrapping you in a bubble of bursting love and let this pure love fill your heart and wash you with radiance. Keep breathing through any resistance that might arise in the face of this sheer, unbridled love.

Try asking yourself a few questions:

Find compassion for yourself as well as the person who triggered you. Remind yourself, “Everybody is doing the best they can.” Allow yourself to be with any emotions that arise within you, but always come back to compassion. Go even further and see if you can find it in your heart to be grateful to the other for teaching you a soul lesson, even if it is a painful one.

From a calm place in your heart; ask yourself whether you need to take any inspired actions based on what happened. You may feel guided to request something from the other individual or set a boundary between you two. It’s OK to even say, “This behavior is unacceptable to me. I need to end this relationship.” But now you will do so from a clean, examined state of inner calm.