When you’ve always identified as a purely straight man, developing feelings for another guy can be confusing, to say the least.

Short answer: Yes. Many men identify as straight but still experience romantic or sexual attractions to other men.

For years, study1 after study has found this to be the case. Interestingly enough, the number of people who report having experienced same-sex behavior or attractions is way higher than the number of people who actually identify as gay or bisexual.

Clearly, the term "straight" isn't quite as straightforward as it seems.

Having feelings for a man doesn't automatically mean you're gay, despite what many people think. But it could potentially mean that you're not 100% straight.

This is not an either/or type of situation—you could be somewhere in between, as many men are.

"Traditionally, being 'straight' refers to one's sexual and romantic interest as being in the opposite sex," New York sex and relationship therapist Todd Baratz, LMHC, tells mbg. But does that mean only ever liking women? Not necessarily.

"The reality is sexuality is expansive and diverse," Baratz says. "Just because someone identifies as straight doesn't mean that they can't and will never have romantic or sexual feelings for an individual of the same sex."

This fluidity goes both ways, he adds. "One person who identifies as gay may also have sexual or romantic feelings for women. There isn't a universal definition for any sexuality." 

Identities like "straight" and "gay" may seem concrete and permanent, but in fact, research shows4 they're subjective and can change over time. "Straightness, just like gayness, is an individually defined subjective reality," Baratz says. 

The Kinsey scale was developed by Alfred Kinsey in 1948 to measure human sexuality.

The scale shows that sexual orientation is far from black and white; instead, it shows sexual orientation as existing across a spectrum.

Here's the full Kinsey scale:

0 - Exclusively heterosexual

1 - Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2 - Predominantly heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual

3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4 - Predominantly homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual

5 - Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6 - Exclusively homosexual

X - No socio-sexual contacts or reactions

The Kinsey scale isn't perfect, but it can be empowering to think about where your sexuality falls along this spectrum and how it may have changed over time rather than leaping straight to "straight," "bi," or "gay."

The Kinsey team's research shows that being 100% heterosexual or homosexual is rarer than you might think. 

Many online quizzes exist to help you figure out where you fall on the Kinsey scale.

There are some alternative labels for men who have feelings for other men but don't identify as gay.

One possibility is "mostly straight" or "heteroflexible," meaning that you're usually attracted to women but occasionally experience feelings or desires for men.

Savin Williams, author of Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Men, calls it "straight with a dash of gayness."

Being heteroflexible is more common than often assumed; Williams cites evidence that more young men identify as "mostly straight" than either bisexual or gay combined.

Bisexual men are attracted to both men and women, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a 50/50 split.

There's a common assumption that bisexuality isn't real; it's just a stop on the way to gayness. But nothing could be further from the truth, and that line of thinking can be quite damaging to all bisexual people and particularly to bisexual men.

If you suspect that you might be bisexual, gay, or something else other than totally straight, it can be confusing to figure out what identity is right for you.

"Allowing yourself to explore your sexuality and be curious about yourself, while minimizing judgment, is incredibly important," Jor-El Caraballo, licensed therapist and founder of Viva Wellness, tells mbg. "Sexuality is complex. It's both visceral and psychological. The biggest sex organ is the brain! Explore in ways that are more comfortable for you, like books, videos, or movies to see how you feel."

Most importantly, you don't have to figure it all out by yourself, nor do you have to dive in headfirst.

Caraballo says, "Apps and chat rooms can be good for a first foray into a sexual experience with another man, as you gauge your comfort level and work through any internalized shame."